i'm signing you up for texting rehab
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
