I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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