ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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