Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
