It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
