Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He told me they were just razor bumps!
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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