honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
