Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Drunk is a universal language darling
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
