they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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