im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
