We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
