hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
