He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
