If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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