If i come over, it means nothing
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
