I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
