how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
