how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
