I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
