Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
