i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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