my room smells like sperm. sweet.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
