why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
