Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
