I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
