Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
