it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
