just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
