Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
