he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
