I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
