what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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