You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
