I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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