All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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