So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
