Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
