Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I want her autograph on my taint
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
