Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
