If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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