OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
