I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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