just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
