it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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