suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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