There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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