either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
