just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
