I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
