I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
