Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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