you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
she smelled like a LAN party
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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